I think here in a little bit I am going to start a Ustream for the people who read my blog to be able to ask me questions, Tech, humor, whatever questions you like. I'm not sure when I would do it or when I would start.

I think that would be an awesome Idea, what do the rest of you guys think? Send me a message or comment below. Once you are done with that you can read some more of my stuff under the Confessions link.

Remember, there is nothing I love more than getting an email or a comment or seeing anything in regards to my site show up in my inBox . . . keep it up guys.

Mathematical Proof that my Blogs must contain the truth

GIVEN: 

• Blogs = x Life = y
  • I write Blogs about my Life.
  • x = y
• Life = y funny = z
  • My life is pretty damn funny.
  • y = z
• funny = z hurts = a
  • In general what I think of is so funny it hurts.
  • z = a
• hurts = a truth = b
  • The truth hurts
  • a = b
• So using this premise, x = y = z = a = b
  • All variables are given
  • All variables exist in real life
  • All variables != 0
  • The x = b

THEREFORE:

• x must be equal to b
  • where x = blogs and b = truth
  • blogs = truth
• My Blogs must contain the Truth.

Let me just start by asking, "How many people does it take to realize that, YES, the network is down?" Well, while many of you may not care, and many more are just saying ONE, you just send an email. . . it is not the case . . . especially when every sales person, plus a few techs were lined up by my office this morning like they were waiting for Government cheese, all to ask if the network was down. What's worse is that even though the guys I just answered had to walk by their commrades in order to make it back to their seats, none of them passed along the information . . . so after the first 10 people pushed their way in I wanted to severely beat them all. Here's the conversation.

ME:  crap, the network is acting up again.

BOSS:  whats going on?

ME:  well, the internet isn't ...

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The differences in what I did yesterday versus today

YESTERDAY

5am -- wake up and think "Man, today is going to suck . . . again"

7am -- drive to work, passing all the local crazy slow drivers

8am -- arrive at work and get coffee, smoke cigarette

9-11am -- fixed several computer / network / copier problems

12-4pm -- on phone with customers fixing computer problems, while simultaneously solving a Rubik's cube (just one of my many talents)

5pm -- drive home, passing the local crazies . . . wait didn't I do that at 5am?

6pm -- arrive home and think about what I can do to amuse myself at work.

TODAY

5am -- Awake in a flash ready to put my plan in motion

7am -- drive to work exceptionally fast, must put plan in motion

8am -- arrive at break room, "Operation 'switch decaf with caffeinated' is a go"

8:45am -- some walks in . . . DRAT!! act natural  **whistle**

8:46am -- they talk ...

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Info-graphics are all the rage nowadays. That's why I figured, I'd get in on it while the getting's good . . . and while I wait for more conversations . . . and because my therapist thought this would be a great way for me to self-heal and stuff (I don't really have a therapist), Honestly. I'd have to say that this might as well be a Polaroid of my face, if Polaroids came out as pie-charts based on a person.

Now Laugh and think of me. :)

Well I'm glad that people continued to come to the site, even while I was doing National Guard Stuff. I'm glad that there are people who still see the site as worthwhile during the dead times when I'm just mentally tired from work, but, if it weren't for my job this site would be a useless shell.

The main point of this is that I'm back and will get into the posting as soon as humanly possible. In Fact, right now I'm supposed to be recovering Hard Drive files of a user . . . sooooo . . . no posts till later. If you guys can wait that long you'll have another one to sink your teeth into.

Back to work

Well, it finally happened, I got featured by the very place that hosts my website. I have honestly tried my hardest to find a website that I love, and to find a topic or topics that make it easy to involve others and I found it this time. Right on the button. I honestly have to think that the best twitter message was the one where Dev Hub asked if they could feature me. From now on I am going to keep up with the topics and keep up with the posting and keep everyone involved. I mean, if they like me, imagine how awesome ANYONE can be at making a website.

As for updates, I have gotten several messages about differing fonts on the website, I think this is dependent ENTIRELY on the browser you use. Mine seems A.O.K. but I'm using FireFox. So to allow ...

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Arthur C. Clarke's three laws apply to my everyday life: Here's how.

1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is probably wrong. 
   • When my boss says something is possible it means that I should do it immediately, When I  say it's impossible it means I'm just doing it wrong.
2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
   • In this case when they can't find the possible the only way to push through the impossible is to break it and give it to me. Figuring things out is for losers and salesmen.
3. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
   • In this case my personal cell phone must look like a fairy's fucking magic wand ...

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Well, I know I posted it via twitter earlier today, but I have put out a new organizational method to my posts, as well as getting rid of all of the random categories that pertained to the ANDROID_WEMMERT page. Since I was able to pull in that other blog via RSS I deleted the 75 other random categories.

I then went into the rest of my posts and added a few more categories to assist those who want to read them in deciding how they want to read them.

You have the Welcome category, which will filter out the blogs from this page you are on now, Conversations will filter all of the tech humor confessions all at once. Rants and Raves, Stories, thoughts, and Why filter out certain blogs that pertain to those specifically.

I am continually working to make this site easy to look at and easier to ...

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Meanwhile in a meeting this morning . . .

Meeting Leader:  ...And we need the computer and the program up by the end of this month.

ME:  End of the month, got it!

Meeting Leader:  That's the spirit Wes! Can . . . . you . . . . . do it!

ME:  Can the Millennium Falcon make point 5 past light speed? Can Captain James T. Kirk get the green alien girls!?

Everyone in the Meeting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

ME:  I Think I can.

Meeting Leader:  Excellent

 

I think I'm going to cry, Excellent Sci-Fi Culture responses . . . given the silent smackdown . . . now I just have to make it through the day.

Please note, before anyone flips their lid and says, "Why, where did all of the stories go!?" I've moved them to their own dedicated page HERE or if you are looking at the navigation bar it is the one titled "Confessions" for further reference to you faithful readers.

A little side note as to why. When I started the site I wanted the information to be readily accessible to everyone who stumbled onto the site so they could see right off the bat (and down a few posts) just what I had to offer. Now that the site traffic is more consistent: people coming back, new people coming in, and link followers, I felt it was pertinent to move it to it's very own page . . . free from the home page announcements.

Nothing has changed in the slightest, just a new location in the room so to speak. Thank ...

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USER:  I like these new phones, but the old Black Berry USB cable will not work in them.

(we have HTC Touch Pro 2's, which use a different connector, but still work with mini USB)

ME:  Why would you want to use that cable with it any way? And it will work, it's reverse of the Black Berry . . . up means down.

USER:  I've tried it every which way, it won't work.

ME: Still, why do you want to use that cable?

USER:  so I can have one here and another at home.

ME:  Fair enough, it will work, I promise.

USER:  No it won't

ME:  seriously? I have an HTC, which uses the same connector as your and WILL work with the Black Berry.

USER:  I don't believe you.

ME:  Fine, give me the cable and you can just do without it.

USER:  No ...

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Well I put in a new logo, it was a quick one since the new theme I'm using for the site looked really bad with the old logo. This will just be a place holder until another one is designed, or submitted that I like. I really liked the old one (partially because it had humorous stick figures) but times change, hopefully this one isn't too much of an eyesore to look at until another one gets in the works.

Thanks for the understanding.

Recently my office has undergone a HUGE upgrade from BlackBerries to HTC Touch Pro 2's. Now while this is by no means an incredible technical advancement it has provided me with some funny instances of "can you tell me" syndrome, and "look-what-I-can-do-ology" from all of my Tech's that I support.

Like I said before this is by no means anything beyond technological advancements of the normal world, but for a bunch of 50-something technicians (some of them are in their 20's) getting all of this "new fangled" technology is both a god-send and torture in the most complete sense of the words (haha I said sense, which is the name of the user interface for the touch pro . . . no pun intended)

I have had everything in the past few days, funny and scary. Just about 3 hours ago I witnessed two of the older technicians showing off ...

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I honestly suck at making logos, this one was a miracle that it came out the way it did. So I ask you . . . the reader . . . to help me. Design and submit one that you think would be awesome!! Submit it to my email address (contact page). Make sure it's watermarked so I can't steal it (I wouldn't, but saying that makes me feel better about asking you guys). If I like it I'll buy it . . . If I get enough submissions I'll post a gallery and let you guys decide . . . deal?

You know, when I'm trying to migrate data from one computer to the next and you are not here; it's always best to decrypt your data. I know how you may just want to hide those "financial reports" and those "vacation pictures" from prying eyes, but seriously, what are you encrypting when all of the proposals and information are saved in an unencrypted format on a network drive? Seriously I don't care if you have "nudie pics" of your wife / girlfriend in that encrypted folder, what I do care about is the fact that you made me waste my time un-encrypting them (sales people use easy passwords btw . . . think default).

 

Just because you made me waste 20 minutes hunting down and 20 minutes un-encrypting (I have to guess passwords after all) I'm going to take those pictures and put them on my hard drive as "insurance".

Dear Sprint Tech Support:

There is no doubt in my mind that you guys at Sprint Technical Support are helpful, and no doubt underpaid to deal with people on a daily basis. There is no doubt in my mind that most of you know what you are talking about (provided the tele-prompter tells you what to do next). Please note I don't hate you, I just hate having to call you, partially because there is nothing I hate more than having to give the account number and reason for the call . . . 8 times; and each time I do it I have to go through the same initial troubleshooting steps . . . 8 times (regardless of the ticket number I give you that details what I have already done . . . 8 times). Let's face it, if I didn't have to call you I would have no reason to WANT to smoke ...

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To all of you who are MAC users and know how to use a MAC don't worry this does not apply to you. For all of you who use a MAC just so you can join the ranks of people who know what they are doing, you should just go back to windows . . . PLEASE!! If you are unsure here is a list of what you can do so that you too can be a member of the group of people I despise.

1.  When your IT support arrives, mention that you got a MAC so that you can stick it to the man (Microsoft) because MAC is way better, then be prepared to offer no support as to how you have it set up.

2.  Utilize the background ability to change pictures, set it to change pictures at the smallest interval so as to give your computer that "I ...

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